Once around the wheel again and carry forward always. Spin off all that which weighs you down and let your heart be jolly.

Happy Diwali!

Happy Diwali, everyone! As we exist within this celebration of light, family, homecoming, and friendship, let us give thanks for the support of close friends and a warm home and pray for the safekeeping of those who are affected by loss. Especially since this energy finds us also in the remembrance of our veterans and in mourning for the losses sustained on the USA eastern seaboard from the recent hurricane. May the Divine bless and keep you. 

Updates to this blog

Hello! I realize that it has been quite some time since I last posted on this blog. It is my intention to become much more active, utilizing this blog as a vehicle to inform petitioners regarding my ministerial and musical services, but also to provide updated universal spiritual advice, teaching, and channeled messages.

Please note that the page tabs which run horizontally at the top of the blog have been updated and now include information about the following:

• Ministerial Services
• Readings
• My Guides
• Writing
• Music

Please drop by again soon!

The fast and the expletive deleted

So, I got grumpy today due to traffic. It seems that there's only so much stupid I can take, apparently. Of course, my guides don't agree with my policy of yelling out curse words at other drivers. I received a challenge today from Kali to not look at the clock while driving to channeling class. I thought I was late and I was getting frustrated with traffic, so she simply said, "Drive friendly, pay attention to the road, do not look at the clock. You will get there on time." And I told her, WTF? It's 20 till and I'm stuck behind some guy going 30 in a 50. Of course, when you taunt the Goddess of TIME with a stupid comment, you get a snarky response and I got, "Time means nothing, and I can change it. So can you. Time only exists so that you can figure out how to layout the flow of your life. Otherwise, you should not concern yourself with it. What you need to do is pay attention to the road."

So I did.

And I got there with a few minutes to spare. Safely. Without screaming at anyone else.

Lesson learned? I suppose not since Saraswati issued the following addendum when I got home:

"It is an interesting time. A very interesting time indeed. So many changes are occurring; can you feel them? Of course, some of you can - others have their heads jammed up the ass of their cell phone. Be present! And don't just be present, it's not enough to say, "I am here." You must also actually BE here. Experience the moment you are in. Try not to label it. Try not to explain it.

"How often have you seen a beautiful flower and thought or said, "that's a beautiful flower"? Why must you say anything at all. Just marvel in it. Look at it, smell it, touch the velvet of the petals, smile. Be. Exist. Exist with the flower.

"Exist with each other. If you're driving while holding your cell phone in one hand and a coffee in the other whilst steering with your knee...you are only acknowledging your own existence. If you are coherent of the fact that you are driving a giant piece of rolling metal at break-neck speeds and that if you do not pay attention to what you are doing you could destroy the life and health of yourself and/or others, then you are acknowledging that you are connected. In that moment, you are connected. BE connected. BE present.

"There is so much anger that arises due to what happens in the car. Let yourself become aware and you will see that anger go down. It will dissipate. Yelling at the person who cut you off will resolve nothing. It may actually cause more anger and it only reinforces the anger that you are feeling. It fosters a sense of wrong-doing. Instead, be vigilant. Be submissive. Be aware. Pay attention. Let the universe flow through you and feel the flow of the universe as you allow it behind the wheel with you. Relax. Know that you do not have to rush. You do not have to hurry. Just BE.

"How do you start a revolution on the road? How do you minimize anger and pain during rush hour? Just be. Be that change that you would like to see and, eventually, others will follow."

**********

Considering I now do about eight hours a week of driving, I suppose this is well timed. Otherwise I'd end up batshit crazy within a few weeks. I'm sharing because it's universally relevant. Hope it helps others as well.

Song for space clearing ritual is complete and can be heard here:

http://www.box.net/shared/n5rxyypoge

Warning - was recorded on a crappy microphone, you may have to adjust the volume on your speakers to hear it properly.

Here are the lyrics:

I am the light that burns through the night
I am the angelic voice of the Gods
I am
I am

I am the virtue which rescues the damned
I am the hope and the heart of the light
I am
I am

I am the lion and I am the lamb
I am the sacrifice for all men
I am
I am

I am the earth and I am the sea
I am the name which banishes strife
I am
I am

Release all your fears and rest here in me
Make of this space a temple of peace
I am
I am
I am

An evening with Kali

The last few months I've been living in a semi-permanent state of denial about things in my life that desperately need to change, the worst of these being my health. I've used stress at work as an excuse not to move forward - not to change. With perfect conviction, I've uttered all kinds of ridiculous fictions like, "I need to eat this cake because it will make me feel better and once I get things settled down at work I'll moderate my eating," or, "I'm eating drive-thru fried chicken because I'm too stressed out to cook." And I believed every word of it.

Please don't get the idea that my goal was to excuse away bad behavior in eating, because that's not the case at all. I truly don't like eating nasty fried fast food. I do enjoy cake, but only in moderation. I want to exercise because it actually makes me feel good. So, what was I trying to excuse by binge-eating? My guides knew.

Monday evening, I arrived at work early and decided to wait in my car rather than go in before my start time. I had been avoiding speaking with my guides for days because I felt a certain expectant energy with them and had been seeking to avoid confrontation. They saw straight through my bulls*#t months ago, but I hadn't been willing to go there. As I sat in my car, I succumbed to the quiet reminders to spend time with them and I sat back and closed my eyes.

And, for only the second time since Tiamat's message, I imagined my self as big as my car, as big as the parking garage, as big as the corporate campus, as big as the block, as big as the city, as big as the state, as big as the country, as big as the continent, as big as the hemisphere, as big as the world, as big as the solar system, as big as the galaxy, as big as the universe, and then I imagined my self as moving beyond the universe. Strange thing about that: up until I imagined beyond the boundaries of the universe, my self was ever expansive; but the minute that I moved beyond, everything crashed back in upon me and I was the observer. The monkey-mind remained, but the thoughts just kind of bubbled to the surface and drifted away and I watched them with unattached curiosity. It was in this state that I finally saw Tiamat in her entirety. Up until this point, I'd only ever seen parts of her but now I saw everything. She was perfect, but smaller than my awareness since I'd moved to a space that encompassed her. She nuzzled me with her maw and explained that she only appeared to have one head because my consciousness was in a space that didn't need to see her as multiple entities. She then explained that her form wasn't truly static at all, it only existed because it's what I needed to see and that she was not what I needed to see. She then morphed into Kali.

Kali, who has insisted upon taking my form the last few times I've spoken with her - not as I am, but as I am meant to be. Well. Healthy. Free from addiction and inflammation. Free from illness and self-deprecation. She smiled and sat cross-legged before me, Kali who moves between that which is and that which is not. She asked me if I am ready to invite her into me. I told her that I would like for her to help me face my day without fear and to protect me from making myself small while I'm at work, because I've been feeling so small. She nodded and told me that her idea of freeing me from fear and protecting me may be very different than what I had in mind. I told her that I am ready. She shifted and turned and sat upon my lap, her energy sinking into mine until we were one.

I opened my eyes and headed into work.

I felt taller somehow and I mentioned this to her. She laughed and told me that didn't surprise her. I wondered why no one noticed that I had such a different energy; something in me found this alarming. Most of the employees were leaving as I arrived for my night shift and there was something in their eyes, it was not recognition, it was exhaustion, it was depression, it was death. Some of them smiled at me, and in their eyes, I saw joy, but it is present in only so few. So few people with joy in their eyes.

When I arrived in the office, I approached my manager to get my seat assignment and I expected that when I opened my mouth to speak with him, a powerful voice would emit. That's not what happened. Some strange mousy voice eeked into the space and I witnessed it like I was watching a train wreck and couldn't stop it. And I was disgusted. I got some water and started my work and entered into the next few conversations expecting something different, with the same result. Nausea and a headache began to set in. I excused myself and sat in the restroom and wondered what was happening. In my gut I knew the answer. I was seeing myself, witnessing myself, without the excuses to protect me. At the time I couldn't put the feeling into words, but I now know that I saw how I was acting and I understood why I was acting that way. If I showed how powerful I was in this place, they would devour me. Not because it was a bad place, not because they were bad people, but because they desperately needed a strong energy to come in and fix things. But I was not to be that person. My energy was not meant for this task. I was in the wrong place.

That night was one for introspection. Where else in my life had I been either hiding or misappropriating my energy? How was it affecting my health? How was it affecting my spirit? Today I started making changes, which involved turning in notice at my job. Regardless of how well something pays, I can't afford to let the misuse of my energy affect my health. She's still with me, Kali, her energy simmering gently below the surface of my form. Restless. Anticipating. Ready for change. Ready to move forward.

Excerpts from conversation with Kuan Yin

What follows are excerpts of a channeled conversation that I had with Kuan Yin 7/28/10:

"You’ve been so hard upon yourself. Upon your body. Upon your soul. And upon your heart. Do not allow the love to fade so quickly, surround yourself with it. And surround yourself with compassion - for yourself. First. Yes, other people deserve your compassion as well, but, you have to start with yourself. If you cannot respect and love and find compassion for yourself then you can never truly respect, love and find compassion for others.

"You focus so often on the negative things that you choose not to see the positive. Worse than that, you choose not to see what actually –is- because even seeing the positive of things sometimes brings you into the past or into the future. Just enjoy what’s in the moment that you are in right now. And forgive yourself when you stray to the past or the future as you so often do. When you deal with problems, you’re dealing with the past. When you seek solutions, you have a tendency to jump into the future - when the solutions aren’t in the future, they‘re in the present.

"Your road will be a difficult one because while you move forward with the light of compassion and love for yourself and others, other people may shrink away from you. And they do this not because you are unworthy and not because you’re doing something you shouldn’t be doing, but because they may not be ready to look into that mirror and see themselves. They may not be ready to go towards the light. It’s interesting how close to death that awakening can be. And so, as you move forward, if you find that anyone steps back and away from you, or that they accost you or treat you uncompassionately, know this: they do not do so because of anything you have done wrong, they do so because they are not ready to see that light in themselves and it scares them.

"Though times may be tough ahead, know this: that you are always surrounded by love and that you are never alone. Think about it. You are never alone. We will never leave you, even if you told us to shut up and go away and never come back again we’re not going to leave you. We’ll stop talking to you if you don’t want to listen, but we’d never leave you and we hope you’d never ask us to. Just know this: you’re never alone. You’re always loved. And you are beautiful and worthy. You’re worthy. You are worthy of being an expression of the divine. You- with your strange freckles. You- with your glasses. You- with your curly hair. Even you while you’re overweight and inflamed and sick. You are still worthy of being an expression of God’s love and that will never change. Never."